Series: The Haunting of Carson Beckett
Warnings: Character death, strong language, and slash
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: All but focuses on Carson Beckett
Disclaimer: I don't know SGA and I'm not making money off of this.
Notes: Only two more chapters and a prologue, guys. We are sooo close. Thanks for reviews as always!
Summary: "The air grew colder and Carson shivered before sitting up in
bed, 'It's you again, isn't it?'
”How much is real, so much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
We thought came from the heart,
But never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises (null and void instead of voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember its just different from what you've seen.
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
sitting all alone inside your head.”
-“Through the Glass” by Stone Sour
When Carson finally fell into bed it was almost two in the morning. He’d been watching over Zelenka’s shoulders in a “Rodney Way” as John had put it. Elizabeth had approved the plan and they had started work. Carson knew he wasn’t helping but he wanted to be there in case something happened. Finally, Zelenka had forced him out.
“I’ll call you, alright. Just leave so I can have some breathing room!”
So Carson didn’t have a choice. He went back into his room and didn’t even bother to change. He just kicked of his shoes and fell face first into his pillow. Odd that he should want so badly for the pillow to be Rodney’s chest tonight. He closed his eyes and pretended it was him, alive and whole. It wasn’t long before he fell fast asleep.
He woke up a few hours later, unsure why. He frowned and turned on his side before closing his eyes and attempting to fall back asleep. The air grew colder and Carson shivered before sitting up in bed, “It's you again, isn't it?”
Sure enough, Rodney was standing at the end of the bed, see through as ever. He looked like he had just forgotten why he had come and was staring at Carson with a possessive sort of longing. Before Carson knew it, the phantom was crawling on hands and knees toward him.
Cold lips pressed against his and he didn’t waste a second to return the kiss. Rodney’s lips warmed as the kiss moved from gentle to desperate. Carson suddenly realized he didn’t have a shirt on. Rodney ran his hands over his bare chest and kissed his neck. There was a moment when Carson knew it was a dream. It was just a moment, but it was enough to make him cling tight, to groan louder, to beg softer. He knew at any moment, something would wake him.
The alarm startled him and he sat up straight in bed. He all but threw the clock against the wall before throwing the pillow over his face. Damn dreams.
“You were right” were the first words out of Carson’s mouth when he saw Ori that day. He had gone to her office during his lunch break. She seemed pleased to see him and even more pleased to hear that.
“Was I? About what?” She asked when they were sat down.
“About Rodney needing rest. He was able to get a message across to me after you left yesterday. Full sentences and everything. It was amazing! He told me how we can get him back. Zelenka is working on it now. Thank you so much.”
“Oh,” she looked a little upset at the news but quickly covered it up. “Well, I’m glad. I hope you get him back soon.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing. I just want everything to be good for you, Carson. I really do.”
He wasn’t sure why but she was suddenly starting to scare him. He couldn’t put his finger on why. They made small talk a little more and Carson was grateful to have to get back to work. Why had the mood suddenly changed? Or rather, when had she started to seem less and less interested in the figure that haunted him and more about himself?
It wasn’t until that afternoon that there was any news from Zelenka. They were about to run the first test. Weir was there as was Sheppard. Carson made a point of standing a little far away from them. He was still upset that they thought him insane.
“Right,” Zelenka said showing them the simulation on his computer. “So here’s what we did. Basically, we have created a small, controllable hole between the worlds. It’s the same hole the ancient used to get the objects there in the first place. This should open to the same place the things were sent. We won’t know for sure if anything can come through it at first but we should at least be able to see Rodney.”
“Will he be able to hear us?” John asked.
“I have no idea. But umm…” He looked between them and stopped on Carson. “I was thinking, that maybe Carson should be the one to try and talk to him.”
“Me?” Carson asked, blinking.
“Well it makes sense. You seem to er… be talking to him a lot lately. So…I think he has a better chance of reaching him.”
“Alright,” Weir said. “We’ll give it a try.”
Zelenka nodded and started to run the program. They cleared into something close to a circle. For a moment nothing happened. Then the world seem to blur at the edges and a burst of something nearly pushed them back. A light opened up in the middle of nowhere and parted into a hole of pure white. Carson could see mice running along the floor. And then, as the hole got slightly bigger… he was there. He was lying on the floor, he looked sick.
“Rodney!” He moved toward the hole and Carson slowly turned his head as if it gave him some effort.
“C…Carson? Another dream?” The broken astrophysicist whispered hardly loud enough for the medical doctor to hear him.
“No. I’m not a dream. Can you stand?”
Rodney made an effort to move and managed to crawl a little closer. “I can’t… I’m so weak. I need you. I need you here.”
“We are going to get you out!” Was it him or was the hole getting smaller? Without thinking, he reached his hand and found that, with effort, he could move into the space. That was when he made up his mind. He ignored the yells from behind him and just focused on Rodney. He stepped into the alternate world just in time. The hole closed behind him. He collapsed onto the ground, exhausted. Rodney looked at him.
“You’re here,” he whispered, reaching out a shaking hand to touch his face. Carson closed his eyes, blissful in the real touch of this man.
“Yes.” He answered.
“Are you… are you going to leave?”
“No, Rodney. I won’t. Not until you do. I’ll follow you. I will be here.” He leaned his forehead against Rodney’s. He was burning up. But Carson couldn’t help him yet. He could just pray that Zelenka hurried and started the program again soon. Until then, he at least was with Rodney. He could be happy in his arms, even when all hope was lost. ‘Hurry, Zelenka,’ he thought.