bella_reeve (bella_reeve) wrote in beckett_mckay,

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The Haunting of Carson Beckett Chapter Seven

Title: As Close To Heaven As I’ll Ever Get
Series: The Haunting of Carson Beckett
Author: Bella_Reeve
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Character death, strong language, and slash
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: All but focuses on Carson Beckett
Shippers: Beckett/McKay
Spoilers: N/A
Disclaimer: I don't know SGA and I'm not making money off of this.
Notes: Well, this is it. All done. Thanks to everyone.
Summary: "The air grew colder and Carson shivered before sitting up in bed, 'It's you again, isn't it?'"

“And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight”

-“Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls

For a long time, there was nothing. And in that nothing, Carson felt alone and afraid. He couldn't see, couldn't breath, couldn't even think. All he knew was icy cold blackness. And that scared him. He wanted Rodney. He needed Rodney. He wanted to wrap his arms around his arm body.

He didn't know how long he was like this, but it felt like forever. It might have been years for how long it felt. He didn't cry… he couldn't cry. It was like his eyes no longer were able to produce tears. But for all he knew, he didn't have eyes or limbs. For all he knew, he was dead.

It was sudden when the darkness ended. There was something warm all around him and something hard, but not unpleasant, under him. It was still dark, but the kind of darkness one had when you closed your eyes in the sun. He was startled. When had the room changed? He was half afraid that, were he to open his eyes, he would be met with the long tunnel with the bright light so many people said that saw before they died. But he knew he could not stay in the dark forever. So taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes.

The light blinded him for a moment. It was sunlight, streaming in from a large, open window. White curtains fluttered with the window that filled the room. Carson was face the window and could see that it led to a balcony. He heard seagulls and the distant splash of the waves hitting the sand. He blinked. Where was he?

Something moved under him and he turned around to face it. What he saw almost gave him a heart attack. He was lying, naked, on top of an equally naked Rodney Mckay. They were in a huge king sized bed with a blanket pulled around them. Rodney was sleeping still. Carson blinked and then brought his fingers to his arm to pinch. Ouch! Okay, no, not dreaming.

Not dreaming. There was something so splendid and frightening about that knowledge. If he wasn’t sleeping… then the only logical explanation was that he had died and was in some kind of heaven. No, not just some kind of heaven. With Rodney here, it was the only kind of heaven he ever needed or wanted. But if Rodney were here than…

‘Orenda got to him, too. She killed both of us.’ He suddenly felt cold, even with the blanket on. He hadn’t been able to save Rodney. He hadn’t been able to save himself. Why had he trusted her? He didn’t even know her.

“Carson?” Rodney’s voice sounded strong, healthy, like it had before he had been sent to that empty space. “Where are we? What happened? Why am I naked? Did I miss something fun?”

It was so good to hear his voice that Carson couldn’t help but smile, if only for a moment. He didn’t want to have to tell Rodney the truth. How do you break it to someone that they are dead? “We… well, Rodney, the thing is that we… We are… I mean to say that Orenda…”

“Oh hell,” Rodney frowned. “We died, didn’t we?”

“Aye, Rodney.”

Rodney closed his eyes and looked as if he might be crying. Carson moved quickly to scoop the man into his arms, cradling him like a child. His hands moved through Rodney’s and he rocked him gently. “Shush, it’s okay. I promise it’ll be okay.”

“But I never told you. I never said I loved you and now it’s too late. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“Wait, what did you say?”

“That this is all my fault. If I hadn’t been messing with that damn thing then—“

“No, I mean, before that.” Carson was sure he had imagined the words. There was no way Rodney just admitted that—

“I love you, Carson. I love you so much.” Rodney looked up at him, understanding suddenly flashing in his eyes. “I love you… and you are here. Holy crap, they sent me to heaven. I thought atheists didn’t get to go to heaven.”

Carson chuckled and then captured Rodney’s lips with his own. It was better than any dream. Not because it was sweeter and not because Rodney tasted so damn good. No, It was better because it was real, and warm, and because Rodney kissed right back. At last they pulled away.

“Love you, too, Rodney. Always have.” He kissed him again, quickly this time. “Don’t know where we are or why we are here. But we are together. And the way I see it there is nothing more I could have asked for.”

Rodney smiled and kissed him possessively. The phone rang… wait, a phone? They pulled apart and got a better look at the room. The phone was on a bedside table, closer to Carson who picked it up.

“Hello?” He asked, half afraid of who would be on the other end.

“Finally!” Elizabeth’s voice said in his ear. “I’ve been trying to reach you for a day now. Are you actually going to bother to show up to work today? The honeymoon ended three days ago. John is going to kill that husband of yours if he doesn’t show up to the university.”

“Work? University?”

“Ha ha, Carson, very funny. Yes, work, here at the hospital. You know, the one you work at. Look, I get it. John and me were the same way when we first got married. All you want to do is lie around the house and sleep together. But we need you here today, okay? So get your ass out of bed before John and Radek come over and drag you off.”

“Right… Will do. Goodbye.” He hung up the phone and looked at Rodney, smiling. “That was Dr. Weir. We are late for work.”

“Work? We have work?” Rodney blinked. “Where do we work?”

“Apparently, you teach at the university and I work at a hospital.”

“So, what, like reincarnation or something?”

“Looks like.” He grinned and leaned over to kiss Rodney. “I’m going to go locate the bathroom to take a shower.” He stood and started toward the door at the far right end of the room. He walked out, then stuck his head back in to smile at Rodney. “Also? We are married. See you later, pookie!” As he left, Carson could almost hear Rodney’s jaw dropped. Yes, they had died. Yes, they still had no idea what was waiting for them or even where they were supposed to go. But as far as Carson was concerned, he could handle anything if Rodney was still there. Assuming, of course, Rodney wasn’t haunting him.


A/N: Hey, I told you there would be Character death, didn’t I? I so did. So don’t throw things at me, alright? Hope you enjoyed it!

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